


8 Nights of Danvers Chanukah

by queercapwriting (queergirlwriting)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-14 01:22:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12996762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queergirlwriting/pseuds/queercapwriting
Summary: The Danvers fam celebrating Chanukah, ft. Sanvers & Supercorp & all manner of Superfam shenanigans.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaaand it’s back! 
> 
> Last year, I wrote this and the 12 Days of Sanvers Christmas series (which, yes, is happening again this year too!) because I wanted to make sure the holidays didn’t creep up on me: that I took the time and energy to celebrate, to smile, to create new traditions for myself where old ones have been long since lost, tainted, or shattered. Both a Jew and a Catholic, I’m sitting in my living room with my menorah directly in front of me and the Christmas tree off to my left.
> 
> Thank you for going on these holiday journeys with me. Thank you so much.
> 
> And, before you ask – the character that I find it very important to bring into this series in particular, Rabiah Zinoman, is from The Adventures of Supergirl comics, where she’s Winn’s gaming friend and computer genius, same as she is here. (I wish they’d bring this badass on the show so badly.)
> 
> Happy Chanukah, and happy reading!

Kara has tried to tell her.

Over and over and over.

And she’s tried to show her.

Over and over and over.

But Lena is still surprised, somehow, when Kara invites her to the first night celebration, with puppy eyes and soft kisses and even softer reassurances that yes, there will be a lot of people there, but they will all love her.

“She invited everyone, though,” Lena tries to rationalize as she rides the elevator to Kara’s apartment with Sam and Ruby at her side. “Everyone from a whole different universe. So it’s not particularly special that she invited me too, I mean – “

“Lena. Hey. Don’t do this to yourself. You’re her girlfriend. You’re family. Of course she wants you here. And not just because she’s inviting half the galaxy. Because she loves you. You. Okay?”

“What Mom said,” Ruby chimes, and Lena smiles down at her with an over-exaggerated crinkle in her nose.

Lena lets Sam hold her eyes for a long moment before sighing and nodding slightly. She sets her shoulders, her jaw, as the elevator dings out its arrival on Kara’s floor.

And she doesn’t need superhearing to know that the party’s already started.

She braces herself for someone else to answer the door. 

Maybe a tipsy Cisco Ramon or a beaming Iris West.

She braces herself for immediate interaction with someone that isn’t Kara.

But she underestimates her girlfriend, because it’s Kara, only Kara, that superspeeds to the door, opens it, and enters the hallway, shutting the door behind her softly.

“You made it,” she beams, her Power to the Girls sweater smelling slightly of fried dough. 

“Hi Sam,” Kara leans to kiss her cheek even as she keeps both hands steadily on Lena’s arms. “And hey, Ruby,” she presents the girl with a bag of gelt immediately, and Ruby’s eyes glisten.

“So, everyone’s here. Barry and the STAR Labs crew, Oliver and Team Arrow, Sara and the Legends –”

“I’m sorry we’re running late, things at L Corp – “

“No, that’s not what I meant. I was just preparing you. But everyone’s really excited to meet you. Okay? I promise.”

Lena bites her lip and nods, sinking into the soft kiss Kara presses to her lips.

“Aw, you two,” Sam beams as Ruby grins through a mouthful of chocolate coins.

Kara promises not to let go of Lena’s hand, and she doesn’t, letting Lena squeeze as hard as she needs to through handshakes and small talk and hugs and laughter.

Laughter that, eventually, rolls off Lena’s tongue naturally, excitedly. Happily. 

Laughter that, eventually, lets her hold Kara’s hand only because she wants to, not because her anxiety is making her need to.

“I thought I knew all the Superfriends,” Lena tilts her head toward the beautiful woman Alex and Maggie are laughing with, Winn blushing and James thumping his back next to them.

“I don’t know if I’m officially on the team. I only help out when my computer skills outweigh this one’s,” the woman nudges Winn playfully in the ribs, her smile bright and her hands soft as she extends to shake Lena’s.

“Rabiah. The only one who can kick Schott’s ass at any game you choose,” she grins.

“I keep trying to get her to work for the DEO,” Alex sighs, shaking her head at Rabiah as she leans into Maggie.

Rabiah shrugs and runs the pad of her thumb along the edge of her bold blue hijab. “Following orders isn’t exactly my thing.”

Felicity suddenly tilts her head back over the couch to look at them. “That’s why you should come work in the Arrowcave!”

“We don’t call it that,” Oliver mutters under his breath while John shakes his head and slaps his knee. 

“Yeah we do, man.”

Rabiah rolls her eyes with a grin, but her response is cut off when Alex and Kara glance at the time and clear their throats simultaneously.

“Alright, everyone!” Kara calls, and Alex kisses Maggie – long and soft and making everyone in the room awww – before joining her sister near the menorah.

“Do you want me to light?” Barry offers as Iris grimaces with a grin and shakes her head while Alex arches an eyebrow at him. “I didn’t mean like a gender thing, I just like pronouncing my chet’s in front of Iris, she always gets all impressed with her Jewish husband – “

“Is that how I get, honey?” 

“Well, yeah – “ Barry stammers as Iris rolls her eyes and leans into him, and Alex thinks, not for the first time, how much like her sister the Flash is.

“Okay, let’s do it,” Alex says, Maggie’s fingers on the matches, because last year might have been her first Chanukah, but this year, she’s more family than ever, and she wants to contribute.

Lena squeezes Kara’s hand and Kara holds her close, kissing her temple as they both watch Alex’s fingers work seamlessly with Maggie’s, melting slightly the bottoms of the candles first, the better to keep them steady in the menorah.

Barry, Felicity, Stein, Winn, and Sam murmur along with Alex as Lena melts back into Kara’s steady arms, focused eyes, praying to gods long forgotten, to a people long destroyed.

“Baruch atah Adonai Eloheinu, Melech haolam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tsivanu l’hadlik ner shel Chanukah.”

A small silence rises as the small flames crackle, until Felicity’s voice translates with a soft tremble.

“Blessed are you, Adonai our God, Sovereign of all, who hallows us with mitzvoth, commanding us to kindle the Chanukah lights.”

They get through the other two blessings in a similar fashion: Alex’s voice, Felicity’s voice, Hebrew and English. Kara’s undertones, Kryptonese. 

When they’re through, John beams at Felicity and Oliver kisses her temple. 

Wally bear hugs Iris and Jax does the same to Stein.

Maggie leans up on her tip toes to kiss Alex, and Sam dips to hug her daughter as Kara pulls Lena close.

“Thank you for coming, Lena,” she whispers.

“Happy Chanukah, darling,” Lena whispers back before swooning into the completeness of their kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara has trouble celebrating the holiday after 3x04 with the whole cult thing.
> 
> I reference Kenny in this chapter, and nope. He didn’t die. Because nope.

When she’d gotten to Earth, she understood so much more about the planet than any human did.

She’d understood the things they thought were science, and she understood the things they thought were mathematics.

She understood them, and she understood what was wrong with them, because she understood so far beyond them.

But then there was Kenny.

Then there was Kenny, and his full-throated love of what his little telescope could show him of the universe.

And there was Alex, needing help with calculus from him because she was too scared and embarrassed to ask Kara; because asking Kara would violate their agreement that Kara pretend not to be as advanced at Earth science and math, for fear of giving herself away. Giving herself up.

There were Alex’s late-night speculations with Kenny about what else was out there, who else. Other than what they’d both heard from Kara, of course.

And she would listen, and through their friendship, she would realize; maybe Earth was impressive.

Sure, maybe their physics was child’s play and their mathematics almost laughable.

But they had so much else to offer.

She learned that, from Kenny’s stories and Alex’s passion.

So when they started teaching her about Earth religions, Kara listened. 

She listened, and she was fascinated. Because she missed having people who understood the power of Rao, who understood the feeling the prayers of her people had given her.

But she watched Eliza’s eyes flutter closed and she watched the conflict in Alex’s eyes, lighting the Chanukah candles for the first time the year after Jeremiah was apparently killed.

And she thought that maybe, this was something she could feel connected to.

Because on Krypton, religion and science didn’t have to be separate. And here, under the Danvers’ roof, maybe they didn’t have to be separate, either.

Maybe she didn’t have to be separate.

But this year? 

This year, all those years later?

This year, Kara Danvers feels separate from… well, from everyone.

It wasn’t just invasion after invasion after genocide attempt after genocide attempt.

It wasn’t just losing everything all over again last year – was it only last year? – through the Black Mercy. Through Astra. 

It wasn’t just all that.

It was also that damned cult.

That damned perversion of her faith.

She talks a bit about it, to Winn’s friend Rabiah. About Islamophobia and about empty justifications and about rage.

She talks a bit about it, to Felicity. About occupations and about empty justifications and about rage.

But talking about it doesn’t make her feel any better.

Because at least they have other people, who understand their faith, who believe what they believe.

She only has Clark. Who vaguely knows what she believes, from basically… text books. Well, if the automated information-sharing systems at the Fortress of Solitude can be called text books.

Regardless. Clark was a baby when he left. 

She… wasn’t.

She… remembers.

And she can’t hear words in her home language, now, without hearing them corrupted by the lips of people who didn’t care how many people died for them to feel pious. 

She can’t hear those prayers, now, without feeling… ill.

Because of that damned cult that fashioned her into a god.

That fashioned her into something she has never been worthy of. Something she has never wanted, has never deserved.

Something that truly and utterly shattered the essence of what she’d grown up with.

Something that perverted and corrupted it and made it into something poisonous.

So this year?

This year, Chanukah doesn’t remind Kara of Rao, of survival, of finding new family, of forging a new life against all odds.

This year, Chanukah just reminds her of all she’s lost, of all that’s been destroyed.

The year Jeremiah had first disappeared, Alex had nearly refused to celebrate the holiday. Alex had yelled and she had thrown things and she had stamped and stormed and surfed for hours and hours and hours and only conceded to be in the same room while Eliza lit the candles because maybe, somehow, it was a form of honoring Jeremiah.

This year, Kara feels like acting exactly as Alex had then.

Except this year, she doesn’t have the excuse of being a teenager in excruciating pain.

So she tries to tell Alex she’s tired and she tries to tell Lena not to worry about it.

She knows it won’t work, because there are eight damn nights, and can she really pull of the too tired act for all of them?

She wishes, not for the first time, that she could actually get the flu or something.

She wishes, but in vain.

So she’s not entirely surprised when Alex shows up at her door.

“You know I can just kick it down?” Alex calls softly when Kara doesn’t answer.

“You have a key, Alex,” Kara calls back wearily, her befuddlement at her sister’s antics temporarily outweighing her need for silence.

“I know,” Alex shrugs as she unlocks the door and steps inside. “But kicking it in would’ve been much more fun. And it got you to smile.” 

She crosses the room in a few quick strides and hesitates for a moment – for permission, which Kara grants wearily, and more willingly than she would have expected of herself – before collapsing onto the couch next to Kara and wrapping her in her arms.

“The whole religion thing leaving a bad taste in your mouth this year, huh?” she asks after a long, long hug.

Kara shrugs and wriggles slightly out of Alex’s arms, keeping contact between their bodies but pulling back so she can look at her face.

“He almost killed thousands of people in that stadium. In my name, Alex.”

“And you stopped him.”

“With help from you.”

“Yeah, well. That’s what sisters are for.”

“Thousands of people, Alex.”

“You saved them.”

“I don’t want to be a savior!”

Kara is standing, now, and Alex stays sitting, stays quiet. 

She tilts her head, and Kara smiles wetly.

“You look like your fiancee when you do that.”

“Thank you for the compliment.”

Kara’s smile broadens weakly before fading.

“I don’t want to be a savior,” she repeats, her voice broken, defeated. Too tired to be angry.

“You don’t have to be. Saviors and heroes aren’t the same thing.”

“Tell that to the stadium of people he almost blew up. Tell that to that boy who almost – “

“Almost, Kar. Almost. They’re fine. They’re all fine.”

Kara lets Alex hold her eyes, steady and calming, for a long moment before she heaves a sigh and collapses back down onto the couch. Back down into her sister’s arms.

“It’s lonely.”

“I know it is. I know, and I’m so sorry, sis.”

Another long silence, punctuated only by Alex stroking Kara’s hair, kissing her forehead.

“You know,” Alex ventures softly after a long moment, “J’onn knows your language. Your traditions. Clark told me once… they were at the Fortress of Solitude together, and he said that J’onn told him that if they don’t keep the memories of each other’s people alive, who would?”

Kara sniffles and backs up so she can look Alex in the eyes. “You do. And Winn does. You both try to understand my language, and Maggie and Lena and James have been doing all this research since the cult thing about Rao and stuff. To make me feel less alone.”

Alex smiles and nods and brushes a stray strand of hair from Kara’s face. 

“I know it’s not the same. But it’s…”

“Family,” Kara finishes, and nods, more to herself than to Alex.

“Can we have the first night,” she continues, hesitant. “Can we light the menorah alone together? We can have everyone over for any of the other days, but… can we do tonight together, alone? I… I know you probably don’t want to be without Maggie, and you can totally – “

“Hey, hey, Kara, no. Don’t do that. Yes, it can be a Chanukah-themed Sister’s Night. Okay? Just you and me. And if you’re up for it through the rest of the week, we can have more people. Okay? But it’s all up to you. It’s okay.”

“You won’t feel… incomplete?”

“With you, Kara? I never could.”

“Can I heat-vision the candles?”

“You know Mom hates when you do that.”

“Eliza’s not here.”

“Oh Rao.”

And the smile that tugs at Kara’s lips, then, is joy, is hope, is light in a wash of darkness, because maybe they can celebrate life after all.

Together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nb!Alex has their first Chanukah since coming out; the Superfam teams up to give them a special gift. For the wonderful @lasvegas056.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update from yesterday: for more timely updates (where I can queue things!), hop over to mah tumbles (queercapwriting)

Alex has almost always gotten sick ahead of Eliza coming to visit.

Their relationship is better now, smoother now, since Alex’s first coming out: about the DEO, about constantly feeling rejected by Eliza, about never feeling like enough.

Their relationship is better now, but not perfect; and anyway, old habits die hard and sometimes, don’t die at all.

So Maggie is kneeling in the bathroom, rubbing Alex’s back and letting Alex squeeze the life out of her hand as Alex loses their breakfast to their anxiety.

“I’ve got you, sweetie. I’ve got you,” she tells them, kissing the back of their neck when they take a shuddering break from their convulsions. 

“You don’t have to stay, Mags, I’m gross,” Alex croaks.

“You’re never gross to me, Al,” Maggie murmurs into the spikey stubble of their fresh haircut.

“And I would be in there with you, Alex, but someone has to make the latkes without setting off sixteen different fire alarms!” Kara calls from the kitchen.

“Ha ha ha ha,” Alex murmurs before shutting their eyes, frozen and thinking. Frozen and feeling their body, checking in with their blood flow, their heart rate, their general physical condition, as J’onn taught them to do years ago.

“Okay, I think I can put my binder back on, I think I’m done thro – “

“Not yet, handsome,” Maggie murmurs softly, apologetically, into the nape of their neck. “Let your stomach settle more first, hm? Can you be brave and do that for me?”

Alex sinks into Maggie’s gentle praise, her gentle touch and her steady hold.

“I think I can manage that,” Alex arches their neck to allow Maggie better access to their comfort spot.

A knock on the bathroom door makes Maggie’s lips pause, but only for a moment.

“I got the mouthwash you like, Al,” Lena kneels when Maggie nudges open the door at Alex’s nod. 

“Ugh, you’re the best. So much more useful than someone with superpowers!” Alex calls.

“Hey!” Sam counters from the kitchen.

“They didn’t mean you, Sam,” Maggie chuckles, and the laughter only increases as they hear Kara mumbling about it not being her fault that they like the same mouthwash and she ran out.

Lena pauses before touching Alex’s elbow. When Alex nods, she exchanges a glance with Maggie as they both help them up until they’re steadying themself on the sink, Lena opening the mouthwash for them and Maggie still rubbing their back.

“You’re so brave,” Maggie continues kissing their neck, and Lena smiles as she presses the mouthwash bottle into Alex’s hands.

“You are,” Lena confirms, and Alex grins.

“You guys have to say that. You’re my wife and you’re my sister-in-law,” Alex protests.

“But I don’t!” Winn dips his head into the bathroom as Alex swishes mouthwash around their mouth. “I’m nothing to you but the annoying guy you work with, and I say you’re brave as all get out, Danvers.”

Alex spits. “What’d you, pay him to say that?” they tease Maggie.

“Luthor’s the one with the bottomless wallet,” Maggie protests as Alex turns unsteadily to Winn.

“You’re never nothing to me, Winn Schott,” they tell him, and as a massive smile creeps up his face along with wet eyes, Alex scoffs.

“Any of you quote me on that, ever, and – “

“Yeah yeah, your index finger, yeah yeah,” Winn chuckles as he tugs them in, slowly and gently and seeking permission and receiving it the entire time, into a bear hug.

By the time M’yrnn and J’onn show up with James, Alex is able to put their binder back on.

By the time Adrian shows up with Eliza, both fresh from the airport, their anxiety has evened out into intense nerves.

Because their family is there, and they are the most calming and supportive that Alex could imagine.

Winn invites them to sit with him while he teaches M’yrnn and J’onn driedel, and James kisses their cheek and tells them they’re looking dapper, and Kara splits a fresh-off-the-stove latke with them and tells them she couldn’t imagine having a more perfect sibling.

Lucy regales them all – again – with the story of Alex and the polygraph, and it makes M’yrnn take them by the hand and tell them sincerely that the child who fought so hard to protect his son will always be his most precious grandchild.

Maggie doesn’t let go of their hand, and Lena calls them handsome, and Sam says Ruby wants a haircut as cool as theirs, and by the time Adrian gets there with Eliza, Alex is… ready.

Ready to do Chanukah for the first time in a body that’s the same, a relationship that’s the same, an identity that’s the same, but also so, so, so damn different.

When Alex gets ready to light, though, Maggie, Kara, and Eliza all reach gentle, tentative hands to stop them.

“Um, Alex,” Adrian says, his eyes meeting Maggie’s as she nods encouragement. “Your sis and your wife and your mom all wanted to get you a little something special this year, and uh… we all sort of gave input into it, and uh…”

“I know we usually do gifts after lighting, but we thought this would go better first,” Kara puts her arm around Adrian as she continues his sentence.

“My darling child,” is all Eliza can manage as she kisses Alex’s confused forehead.

“Al,” Maggie is the one who takes the small package from J’onn’s proud hands. “Well… chag sameach.”

Lena and Sam whoop softly and thump Maggie’s back proudly as Kara beams and Eliza tugs her in for a hug.

Alex kisses their wife as they take the gift from her trembling hands with curious, wet eyes.

“You guys didn’t have to – “

“Just open it, Danvers.”

“Come on, Alex.”

“Of course we had to, we love you.”

Alex nudges Maggie’s shoulder with their own, and Maggie nudges them right back.

“Is it the latest in lightweight weaponry?” they ask as they start unwrapping the silver and blue paper.

“What have you done to my child?” Eliza rolls her eyes and asks J’onn playfully.

He shrugs. “They were like this when I met them.”

“Standing right here guys – oh. Oh.” Alex’s teasing tone sobers and floods with tears as their trembling fingers reveal what’s beneath the wrapping paper.

Kara slips immediately to her sibling’s side, so that her arm is around their shoulder while Maggie’s is around their waist, both holding them as a single sob wracks through their chest.

“It’s beautiful,” Alex chokes.

“We had it specially made for you, sweetie,” Eliza tells them.

It’s a kippah, an elegant satin, with one yellow, white, lavender, and black stripe forming the nonbinary flag; on each color, a different word or two in bold script. Alex recognizes it immediately as Kara’s handwriting.

“My gender is my superpower,” they read aloud, voice trembling and body shaking.

“Kara isn’t the only Danvers kid with superpowers, Al. And your gender isn’t your only one,” Maggie whispers as both she and Kara hold Alex steady, hold Alex calm, hold Alex safe.

They sniffle and they stare down at their new kippah – their first kippah – and they let tears drop down their face as their clip it into their hair.

“Thank you,” they wrap their arms around Kara and Maggie, kissing Kara’s cheek and Maggie’s lips, getting tangled in their wife’s limbs until both Eliza and J’onn clear their throats good-naturedly.

“We’re all proud of you, Alex,” James tells them as they blush and laugh and continue to let tears spill freely.

“Shall we?” they ask, striking a match, still beaming, still trembling, but with none of the anxiety of earlier; only, now, with the deep warmth of their family’s love. 

And as their family joins hands, some with eyes closed, some with eyes wide, all with eyes smiling, they sing out the blessings in a voice that quakes with the miracle that is being this cherished.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking Lena Home to Midvale (aka Lena getting the mothering she deserves)

It doesn’t help her nerves that when she shows up to their apartment – her bag packed and bulging with a combination of books and clothes in her definitely not shaking hand – she can hear Alex and Maggie… preparing… for the trip on the other side of the door.

It makes her chuckle to herself, sure – the sound of her sister-in-law whimpering her fiancee’s name, the sound of bare skin coming together, the sound of Maggie murmuring something Lena can’t hear, but can definitely imagine, and the sound of her sister-in-law coming completely undone, a litany of curses and declarations of love and Maggie’s name spilling out of her lips – but it also makes her even more nervous.

Because, she thinks as she waits in the hallway to knock – waits for Alex to come down from her high, waits for her and Maggie to cuddle a bit, for them to, hopefully, put some damn clothes on – they’re engaged. They’re engaged and they’re so far along in their relationship that Maggie is helping Alex work through her going-home-anxiety with what sounds like really amazing sex.

She and Kara are still… beginning.

Lena hasn’t even met Eliza yet, for crying out loud, whereas she knows that Eliza calls Maggie to check in from time to time.

And, she knows the family is close with Superman. Obviously.

What if Eliza just sees her as a Luthor, even more than most?

Kara swears she won’t, but Kara believes the best in everyone, and it’s what Lena loves about her, but what if she’s… wrong?

She doesn’t exactly have a good track record with mothers.

“Neither do I,” Maggie had told her at the bar the other night. “I mean, sure, Emily’s mom loved me – until she hated me – but that was just because of the badge and the workaholicness and all that, nothing super personal to me. But before that? It was all, ‘how could you corrupt my daughter’ and ‘stay the hell away from her’ and… worse.” 

“What if Dr. Danvers thinks I’m… corrupting her daughter?” Lena had taken a long sip of wine before asking.

“Because she’s with a woman?”

“No, because…”

“A Super and a Luthor?”

Lena had nodded with lowered eyes, and Maggie had sighed and taken a long swig of her beer.

“I don’t think she will, but she is… really protective of Kara. In a way that she’s not protective of Alex. The opposite, for Alex… but listen, what I do know, Lena? Is that Kara loves you. And Eliza has every reason to love you, too. But if she doesn’t? We all know the way right back to National City.”

Lena had smiled at that, unsure of what to do with the casual solidarity, the nonchalant loyalty, the unwavering certainty that Lena… belongs.

But now, standing with her crammed overnight bag outside Alex’s door, all her anxiety is flooding back to her.

“Hey baby!” Kara’s voice jolts her out of her stupor. “You can go inside, you know, it’s okay – “

“Oh, Kara, I wouldn’t – “

“Oh Rao, I did not need to see that! Why is it always me? You can put a sock on the door or something!”

“We’re not in college, Little Danvers. You could always knock or something.” Maggie’s voice is playful and post-orgasmic and Lena lets Kara bury her appalled face into her shoulder and pats her head in teasing consolation.

“I tried to warn you, darling,” she says, opening one of her eyes to check if Maggie and Alex are decent. They’re not, exactly, but Alex waves them both inside anyway.

“Were you waiting outside, Luthor?” Maggie asks as she tosses Alex a t-shirt.

“Aww, Lena, you’re too sweet.”

“And you’re too gross,” Kara whines, still with her eyes buried.

“Kara, sex isn’t – “

“No, it’s not, hooray sex positivity! Doesn’t mean I want to walk in on my big sister like… like that!”

Lena snorts and Alex hurries into the long t-shirt Maggie had given her and rushes over to hug her sister.

“I love you, sis,” she reminds her, and Kara can’t help but smile.

“Are you even packed yet?” she asks. 

“All ready!” Maggie declares, yanking up their bags. 

And so – a quick shower and many soft kisses to Lena’s face later – they set off in J’onn’s borrowed car, Britney songs blasting the entire way to Midvale.

Lena gets quieter the closer they get, and Kara, with her in the back seat, promises not to let go of her hand.

“I’m proud to be bringing you home, Lena,” she assures her with a kiss on the mouth.

When Alex glances at them in the rear view mirror, she awwws and Lena blushes, but happily.

She tries to hang on to that feeling as Alex pulls into the driveway, Eliza coming out of the house to greet them with a smile.

Lena lingers back, and Kara, as promised, keeps a hold on her hand while Alex hugs her mother; while Eliza tugs Maggie in for a long, long hug that ends in her cupping Maggie’s face in her palms and telling her, “our home is always your home, sweetie”; and even while Kara reaches out to hug her foster mother.

“Eliza, this is my girlfriend, Lena Luthor.”

It’s Lena who finally lets go of Kara’s hand, then, to extend her own to Eliza.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Dr. Danvers,” she tells her, and Eliza’s smile is questioning.

“In this family, we hug, Lena. Especially on the holidays. If that’s alright?” She holds her arms out tentatively, and Lena swallows a sob as she nods and steps forward into her arms.

Kara beams and Maggie lowers her wet eyes while Alex kisses her temple.

Lena trembles slightly when Eliza offers her a tour of the house – of Kara’s childhood on Earth – and she doesn’t quite know what to do with her hands when, a few hours later, Alex murmurs the blessings over the menorah, Kara helping her even after her (apparently annual) ‘offer’ to light the candles with her heat vision was turned down.

She nearly jumps when she feels Eliza take her hand, softly translating the Hebrew for her and Maggie. Softly telling them about how much Alex had struggled with the blessings after Jeremiah… well. 

It’s on the back porch that she takes a moment to breathe, a moment to take in the casual way Eliza had made sure she’d eaten enough latkes, had made sure Kara didn’t eat all the jelly donuts to make sure Lena was able to have as many as she wanted, too.

That she finds a moment to process the way that not once had Eliza mentioned her last name, or her brother, or the fact that her mother was directly responsible for ripping her husband away from her and leaving her with two teenagers to raise.

It’s also on the back porch that she and Eliza get to have their first conversation alone.

She feels eyes on the back of her neck as she looks up at the sky, listening with a soft smile on her lips to the sounds of Kara laughing with Alex and Maggie in the kitchen. She turns to find, sure enough, Eliza’s gaze on her, two steaming mugs in her hands.

“Kara accidentally heat visioned some gelt when the girls were children,” Eliza holds a mug out for her. “Apparently, as long as you actually take the foil off before the melting happens, heat vision plus gelt can make for excellent hot chocolate.”

Lena laughs softly and accepts her mug gratefully as Eliza comes to stand next to her, both of them leaning out, looking at the stars.

“Thank you for having me, Dr. Danvers.”

“Eliza.”

“Eliza. I know… I don’t imagine having me in your home is easy. What my mother’s done to your family…”

Lena’s eyes lower in shame, and she hears Eliza’s deep breath next to her.

“Drink it while it’s warm, honey,” she tells her. “It’s best that way.”

Another long silence. Lena sips and she tastes Kara’s earth childhood and it makes her heart both soar and ache.

“You know, Lena, on Chanukah, we don’t blow to candles out. We let them burn out on their own.”

They both turn to look inside, at the girls and at the menorah in front of them, the candles petering down to their last flickers. 

“Kara loves you. That’s clear. And Alex trusts you with her sister, which is… which is enormous. Did the girls tell you about the first boy Kara brought home from college, what Alex did to him?” Eliza chuckles. “I’ll leave that story for them to tell. But honey… I know it’s easier said than done, but I don’t see… you are not your mother. And I don’t see any reason not to let this burn out on its own. This… this idea that you somehow are responsible for hurting my family… you aren’t. I want to let that burn out, Lena.”

They watch as the first candle – reduced now only to its wick – flickers one final time until a thin line of undulating, gorgeous smoke is all that remains.

“You belong her, honey. Just like Maggie, just like my girls. And you deserve… this. A family that loves you.”

As if on cue, Kara catches eyes with Lena and blows her an enormous kiss with both hands as Alex and Maggie cheer.

“Thank you, Dr. – “

“Eliza.”

“Eliza.”

“We’ll work on that,” Eliza smiles, wrapping her arm around Lena’s shoulder and kissing her temple gently. “We have all the time in the world.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing Jeremiah

She’s been doing alright.

She’s been focused on her wedding, on taking care of Kara, on her job.

Things that make her feel safe, comfortable.

Normal.

Well, maybe the wedding planning doesn’t exactly feel normal. But in Maggie’s arms? 

Damn, does it feel good.

And then Chanukah rolls around.

She got through Thanksgiving alright. She got through it by focusing on Kara, on Lena, on the fact that it was Lena’s first holiday with them, and she was nervous as all get out.

She got through it by focusing, as she does, on anyone but herself.

Maggie had noticed – of course Maggie had noticed – but she hadn’t pressed her.

But now, Chanukah’s rolled around, and Alex… Alex won’t get out of bed.

Alex can’t get out of bed.

Because over the years, she’d gotten used to holidays without her father.

She’d gotten used to sitting at the head of the table, across from Eliza.

She’d gotten used to doing the blessings on her own.

To doing everything on her own.

But now?

Now, he’s been here.

He’s been in this apartment, Kara’s apartment.

He hugged her, here.

He teased her about setting the table, here.

He met Maggie, here.

And then he betrayed her, and everything she’s ever believed in.

And then he’d helped along a genocidal plan.

All in her name.

So now? Now, it’s fresh, and now, it feels new again. The pain. The anger. The betrayal.

The raw, raw, missing of her father.

Maggie knows immediately, when her kiss to Alex’s temple doesn’t make her moan softly and arch her body close into Maggie’s.

She knows immediately, because on Alex’s depressed mornings, she just stays still. She just breathes through it, because she can’t even attempt to do anything else.

She sends a quick text to Kara before tentatively straddling her fiancee, pressing soft kisses all over her face; the way she knows Alex likes, because she can just lay there and let herself be… loved.

It’s not something she’s used to, but it’s something she wants to be used to.

“Should we cancel all of Chanukah, sweetie?” Maggie asks after a few more moments of kissing Alex’s face.

Alex nods, and Maggie chuckles softly as Alex tilts her chin up so she can catch Maggie’s lips with her own.

She sighs up into their kiss, shifting her legs and moaning softly until Maggie does what she wants, shifting so her thigh is between Alex’s legs.

“We should cancel everything,” Alex murmurs, and her hands are telling Maggie everything her body wants, but her eyes are so, so, so sad.

Maggie pulls back from their kiss and rests her head on Alex’s chest instead.

“Do you wanna talk to me, Danvers?” she asks, and she knows that the answer is both yes and no. 

Yes, because she needs to.

No, because making love is so much easier.

Yes, because she trusts her.

No, because she’s still not used to this whole not pushing her feelings down thing.

Under Maggie’s gentle weight on her body, yes wins.

“It just feels like the first Chanukah without him all over again,” she says, running her hands absently through Maggie’s hair, over her naked back.

Maggie shifts so she can watch Alex’s face.

“I was such an asshole, that year.” She chuckles to herself ruefully. “A lot of years. Mom and I were just constantly fighting, I wanted to cancel the holiday, I wanted…” She takes a long sigh and dips her head so she can kiss Maggie’s hair.

“I don’t know how to do it, this year. Because it’s supposed to be… the holiday, you know? It’s supposed to be about hope. And I… I have you, and everyone’s alive, which is good, and at least I know he’s not being experimented on now, but I mean… do I? Because that’s almost… selfishly easier to believe than that he just… did all that of his own free will… but whatever it is, he’s not here, and we have no idea how to find him again, and part of me doesn’t even want to, and I hate myself for it, and I… ugh, no, Maggie, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, you have your own family stuff that – “

“Hey, no, Danvers. You don’t get to do that. Okay? We can both have family stuff, and we can both support each other, alright?”

“Why are you perfect?”

Maggie crawls up Alex’s body slightly to kiss her mouth slow and soft, with parted lips and a fluttering heart.

“I’m not. I think we’re just perfect for each other.”

Alex starts at the sound of the door opening, but Maggie soothes her with gentle hands.

“It’s Kara. She brought jelly donuts,” she grins down at her, and Alex raises her head to look over Maggie’s shoulder.

“Come cuddle, sis,” she calls.

“Put some clothes on, you two, and I will,” Kara closes her eyes dutifully as Maggie chuckles and Alex blushes.

When they’re dressed, Kara crawls into the bed with three coffees and a dozen jelly donuts.

“I love you, Alex,” she tells her sister, asking for no explanation, because she doesn’t need one.

She just needs to be here for Alex.

And she always will be.

They both will.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex/Lena BrOTP High School AU, Holiday Style

They’ve perfected the art of note passing in the middle of English class.

They’ve perfected it because Lena is constantly terrified of getting caught – it took her everything to convince Lilian not to send her to boarding school, and if she’s caught even doing the most slightly imperfect thing, causing the slightest nuisance, off she’ll go – and they’ve perfected it because Alex doesn’t have boarding school hanging over her head, but she does have… well, something that feels like the weight of the world on her shoulders.

 _Kara’s stressing out about what to get you for the holidays. You guys celebrate Christmas, right?_ Alex writes before tucking the torn sheet of paper underneath her pen cap and strategically dropping it out of her own reach, so Lena can pick it up and remove the note before returning the pen to Alex.

 _If you can call it celebrating_ , Lena writes back. _We have these parties at the house that make the Queen family parties in Star City look like middle school dances. I hate them. But whatever. You celebrate Chanukah, right?_

Lena drops the folded note on the floor and kicks it in Alex’s direction.

She misses.

Her stomach sinks until she recognizes the hand of the girl bending to pick it up.

Maggie Sawyer.

And Lena almost cheers.

Because this is the girl she’s been trying to convince Alex to talk to for weeks.

The girl that makes big bad Alex Danvers completely lose her cool, completely lose her composure.

The girl that big bad Alex Danvers has a big bad crush on.

“For Alex?” Maggie Sawyer mouths to Lena when she’s sure their teacher is facing the board.

Lena nods once, trying to contain her smile, her excitement, while Alex, in her own seat, is trying to contain her desperate blush.

Maggie doesn’t open Lena’s note, but she takes her own pen and scrawls something on the outer folds before leaning back in her seat with an exaggerated yawn to drop it on Alex’s desk.

Lena barely stifles a giggle and Alex shoots her a glare.

_You never write me notes, Danvers. Maybe you should. If you wanted._

Alex’s stomach does backflips as she admires the swirl of Maggie’s careful handwriting, the suggestion of her sentences, the way her head tilts as she listens – or pretends to listen, at least – to their teacher.

She rips another small piece of her notebook page, focusing on her note to Lena first.

_That sucks. I’m sorry the party’s so crappy. Maybe you could convince your mom to let Kara go with you? I know she already hates me for that time I mouthed off to her – I’m still sorry about that, by the way – but maybe Kara? She’s got that cute puppy face. I know you know about that. You should ask her to the winter formal, by the way. Her crush on you is getting out of hand, and yours on her is getting so obvious. And yeah, we’re Jewish. You should come over. Mom makes incredible homemade jelly donuts._

“Taking good notes, I take it, Ms. Danvers?” their teacher asks, making her blush and jump.

“Yes, ma’am,” she murmurs. Then, after a beat, more confidently, “I was just writing some of my thoughts about John’s clear crush on Elijah, and the way that type of reading would impact his conversion scene.”

A flutter shoots through the class, and Alex smirks as their teacher blinks rapidly, clearly a combination of impressed and irritated.

Alex smugly drops Lena her note, and, hands trembling, turns back to the paper she’d ripped out for Maggie.

_Well you’ve never written me a note either, Sawyer._

She waits, chewing on the end of her pen, unable to think what to write next.

She needs Kara for this kind of thing, but Kara’s in social studies across the hall right now.

Lena responds to her note quickly enough.

_I’ll ask your sister to the winter formal if you ask Maggie. Right. Now. And also invite her for Chanukah, too. Do it, and I’ll ask your sister out._

Alex glares at her and nearly sends a kick her way, but her heart and her mind race.

She stares at Maggie in the seat in front of her, and she brings her pen back down to the paper.

The bell rings.

She curses under her breath.

Lena nearly pushes her into Maggie, she’s gesturing so not-subtly.

“Um, Maggie,” Alex has no choice but to say as they’re all gathering their books and getting ready to head to sixth period.

“Um, Danvers,” Maggie grins, her eyes sweeping up and down Alex’s body once, quickly.

Alex flushes.

“I was writing you back but then – “

“But then you got busted writing to Luthor and had to cool it. I get it, no big deal.”

Alex stammers and Lena blinks at her, hard.

“Um, listen, I wanted… are you… it’s no big deal if you’re not, I mean, I would want to put you out of your way, but uh… if you’re going to the winter formal, I thought, I don’t know, we could maybe possibly go together? And maybe also you want to come to light the Chanukah candles at my house later this week? You don’t have to, but my mom always makes too much food anyway and uh – “

“I’d love to.”

“To… to my house or to the winter – “

“To both, Danvers. I’d love to, to both.”

Lena doesn’t even bother to try and suppress her squeals of excitement, and Maggie and Alex both turn to her with reddened faces and raised eyebrows.

Alex points an excited finger at her.

“Now you have to ask my sister out, too!” she declares, and Maggie chuckles.

“Nerd,” she says, and she’s the first person to call Alex that and sound… happy about it. Like it’s something she likes. Like it’s something to celebrate.

And it seems like when they light the candles tonight, the Danvers girls are going to have a lot to want to celebrate.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supercorp Secret Santa, High School AU Style

Her frown is set deep into her face when she slips off her bag and sits at the kitchen island after school.

Eliza raises an eyebrow as she slides three grilled cheese sandwiches onto a plate that was already waiting for her youngest.

“You seemed troubled, sweetie,” she prompts as Kara thanks her with a mouth full of sandwich.

“You know how you told me about Earth holidays?” Kara asks after taking an enormous swallow. 

Eliza nods and waits for Kara to inhale the first of her sandwiches in its entirety before continuing.

“Well, you told me about a lot of different holidays, but the school is having us do this thing they call Secret Santa. Nothing about gelt or driedels or any of the fun things you and Alex and Jeremiah told me about with Chanukah. Just that guy in the red suit who can’t actually fly but everyone thinks he can. Unless he’s Kryptonian. Is Santa real and just Kryptonian? Because that would be – “

“I don’t think so, dear,” Eliza covers Kara’s hand with her own, pain in her eyes at snuffing out Kara’s growing hope.

Kara sighs and worries at her bottom lip.

“Why aren’t we doing Chanukah things at school? Why only Christmas things?”

Eliza sighs, this time, as she sits across from Kara and regards her thoughtfully.

“Earth history is rich with conflict, Kara,” she tells her, knowing it’s so much more and so much less than that. “And that’s reflected in the choices our schools make, sometimes. The Secret Santa game isn’t a religious thing; it’s cultural. Or, it’s become cultural, and the school must think it’s benign to ask everyone to celebrate it.” Eliza sighs. “Where’s Alex?”

“Surfing.”

Eliza nods distractedly. “What do you say we give your gift a little bit of a Chanukah spin?” she asks, and Kara nods curiously. “Whose name did you draw?”

Kara takes the slip of paper out of her pocket, and Eliza’s lips twitch slightly when she sees it. 

“Lena Luthor,” she reads, and Kara nods dutifully.

“Alex says you’ve become quite attached to Ms. Luthor,” Eliza offers, keeping her voice as gentle, as casual, as possible.

“She doesn’t really like her last name. Her mother isn’t very nice to her.”

Something like rage flickers across Eliza’s face, but when Kara blinks, it’s gone.

“Well then. We should get her gifts fit to make her very, very happy then, shouldn’t we?”

“Gifts?”

Eliza smiles. “Well, if we’re going to do this Jewish-style, we can get Lena eight small gifts, one for each day, instead of one medium-sized gift. Do you think she’d like that?”

Kara’s eyes glisten, and Eliza’s reflect it back.

“Yes, I do.”

So, Lena Luthor is the first to find out who her Secret Santa is. Because Kara makes sure to give her the first present days and days early. 

An ornament – simple, of a silver dolphin, because Lena had talked about wanting to swim away with them once, how human their eyes look, how kind they can be to each other.

Lena loves it, and she blushes from ear to ear.

And the gifts don’t stop coming.

Her second gift, Alex helps Kara pick out. 

A pair of chemistry goggles; not the bulky plastic kind that the school keeps in the lab, but elegant, sleek. “And quite a bit of sexy,” Alex had teased Kara, and Kara had reddened, but smiled all the same.

Lena wears them all day, even outside of the lab.

Her third gift, Maggie helps Kara pick out.

“Your crush is a nerd, like your sister,” she’d grinned, helping Kara find a beautiful mercury hourglass in a thrift store.

Lena keeps it on her desk throughout the entire school day.

Her fourth gift, Kara makes all by herself. 

She spends all night on her bed, keeping Alex up with her muttering to herself, with the light on, folding and folding sheet upon sheet of paper until, finally, she has a perfect set of origami flowers. She covers Lena’s homeroom desk with them before school.

Lena puts one in her hair, and has to be reprimanded by her homeroom teacher to put the rest in her locker. She goes to her locker repeatedly throughout the day, a warm smile on her face.

Her fifth gift, Kara settles on something simple. 

A new notebook, moleskin and small, because she’s noticed that Lena is always scrawling notes to herself, little pieces of her soul committed to paper, now bound beautifully.

This one nearly makes Lena cry. In a good way, she assures Kara, over and over and over again.

Her sixth gift goes with her fifth; a pen.

A fountain pen, elegant, with a deep, deep purple ink. 

Lena is never seen to write with anything else throughout the entire rest of the school year.

Her seventh gift, a stuffed bear that is nearly bigger than Kara herself.

Lena pouts until her teachers agree to let Bear sit next to her, in a borrowed desk, in each of her glasses. She even puts goggles on him during chemistry lab.

Her eighth gift, Alex helps with again, because Alex already has a girlfriend, so she’s probably good at this kind of thing.

Because Kara’s eighth gift for Lena is a letter. A simple, simple letter, telling her how much she’s enjoyed giving her Chanukah gifts; how grateful she is to have drawn her name in Secret Santa; and a question. An invitation, really: to please, if she wants to, go with Kara as her date to the winter formal. 

When Lena says yes, it’s with tears in her eyes and a deeper smile than any Kara has ever seen, and she has to concentrate not to float for the entire rest of the day.

Because Lena Luthor likes her, too. 

And, Kryptonian or not, Kara figures that would make anyone float.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex’s Nightmare

She’s not sure how she found him, but she knows he’s finally home.

With no suspicions, this time; with no xenophobic attacks. 

With no ulterior motives and promises that he’s committing genocide… for her.

This time, he’s just… home.

Her father.

In time for the last night of Chanukah.

This time, he’s just home, and she’s watching her mother kiss him like she’d forgiven him in a way she hadn’t last time; she’s watching him laugh with Kara, and she’s watching him make latkes with Maggie, and he’s home, he’s home, he’s home.

Her father is home.

“I’m never leaving you again, Alex,” he tells her as he holds her, and she believes him like she’s never believed anything.

And she’s led the lighting the whole time he was gone – when Eliza couldn’t bear to do it, and Alex somehow became the constantly-reprimanded teenage girl and the adored father of the household at the same time – but she’s glad to watch him do it, now; thrilled to listen to the prayers roll off of his tongue, the wax drip from the bottom of each candle before it sinks into its place, snug and secure and safe.

Like she feels.

Until a light glistens in his eye.

A light glistens and she tugs at her mother to get down, knowing the Maggie is tugging on her sister at the same time.

Because half of her father’s face, now, is stripped of flesh, is its own version of Cyborg Superman, is grinning with lust to slaughter, to torture, to experiment, to kill.

Her father’s face, now, is the face of someone who wants her family dead.

She wants to vomit as she yells at Eliza to stay on the ground, as she reaches into her waistband for her gun and finds only a picture of her in her father’s arms, next to the burning menorah, the year before he disappeared…

“Alex. Babe. Alex.” 

She hears the tears in Maggie’s voice and bolts upright, terrified that she’s been shot, again, by Cadmus, again, that Alex wasn’t there to protect her, again.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. You had a nightmare, sweetie. Everyone’s safe now. You’re safe now.”

Alex blinks into her surroundings, heart still racing, and for some reason, her face is wet. 

She’s not sure if it’s tears or sweat.

She thinks, if the expression on Maggie’s face is anything to judge by, that it’s probably both.

“Maggie?” she asks, her voice full of gravel and of grief.

“Everyone’s safe,” Maggie repeats while she presses kisses to Alex’s face and knuckles.

“My dad,” Alex shivers. “My dad was here.”

Maggie looks up, then, and Alex follows her gaze to find Kara perched on the other side of her bed.

“Jeremiah isn’t here, Alex,” Kara takes her hand and kisses it apologetically, curling her feet under her as she scoots closer to her sister.

“But you’re here,” Alex protests, dream logic still hanging on, that if Kara is over, then perhaps Jeremiah and Eliza are, too. They have to be.

Because even if he wants to kill her, he’s back, and that’s… better, isn’t it? 

He said he was never leaving again, and that’s… better, right?

“I came over early to help Maggie with the latkes,” Kara smooths Alex’s damp hair away from her forehead. “You were napping when I got here, and we were trying to be quiet enough to let you keep sleeping.”

Alex lets her body fall back down onto the sheets, staring up at the ceiling numbly.

“Do you want to tell us about your dream, sweetie?” Maggie asks, and her voice grounds her, keeps her steady, keeps her present.

Alex blinks a few times, and she sees Kara and Maggie exchanging silent glances over her reclining body, and the part of her heart that’s still in tact is thrilled with how close the two have gotten.

“Dad was back. For real this time, not… not like it was last time. Except then he… he…” She catches a glimpse of the scar on Maggie’s chest with the way her sweater is hanging off one shoulder, and she shudders. 

“I’m okay, babe. Kara’s okay. Everyone’s okay,” Maggie kisses her soft and gentle and soothing.

“Did I do the right thing?” Alex’s voice cracks as she looks up at Kara. “Letting him go?”

“You went with your heart, Alex. And that’s the best you can ever do,” Kara kisses her hand again.

“It was Chanukah in my dream,” Alex sits up again, slowly, slowly, and all their eyes shift to the living room, to the menorah.

“Do you want to not light tonight?” Kara offers, and Alex shakes her head immediately.

“We need more hope than that. We… we deserve more hope than that. Than cancelling Chanukah.”

“You’re beautiful,” Maggie whispers, and that brings a soft smile to Alex’s lips.

“You are,” she counters, and Kara gives Alex’s hand a final kiss before standing.

“Well, I’m gonna make sure the latkes get cooked. You two… you two just be in love.”

She smiles at Alex and winks at Maggie before heading into the kitchen, humming to herself about hope and love and family.

Humming to herself about the holiday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, darlings! Feel free to join the fun on my tumblr (queercapwriting.tumblr.com) and keep up to date with when my novels are coming out at jpolish.com :) See you in other stories, and happy Chanukah!! <3 <3 <3


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